Absentee

So I have been a bit absent lately from my blog. Why, you ask? Well, apparently going to college actually involves, gasp, SHOPPING. And that, on top of working like a mad-woman, working out like a mad-woman, and falling asleep every time I sit down has led to me ignoring my blog in favor of rest/watching Sex In the City in my downtime.
   This summer has taught me more about time-management than 5 AP courses and 60 miles per week ever did, and want to know what I have learned? I. NEED. TO. STOP. Take a break, sleep in, eat pancakes, watch TV, read a book, see my friends, and remind myself I am a normal person for 5 seconds. Which I did last Wednesday when, get ready for it, I didn't go to swim practice. Straight up skipped. Was it good for my training? Probably not. Was it good for me mentally? OH YES. Though I consider swimming to be my least-stressful part of training, I needed a break from sets, times, intervals, and constant motion. I needed a day to re-evaluate why I do all the training I do. Is it for fitness, my figure, or because I love it?
   Want to know what I figured out? It's because I love it. I love running. I love swimming. I love strength training. I love intervals on my bike (notice I didn't say long rides. I said intervals. That's right, cyclists, you can shove your 5-hour rides where the sun don't shine; this chick ain't a fan). But I need to step away from the obession of it all. I need to run for fun, I need to bike because I genuinely want to, and I need to lift when my muscles are begging for my dumbbells.
    Luckily my Coach was way ahead of me on this, and decided to move to Colorado without mentioning it, which saves me having to find an excuse for telling her I need some space. Because I do. I need to learn to coach myself. Will I mess up sometimes? Probably. But will I be happier (and, since I won't be shelling out $50/month) and richer? HELL YEAH.
   So this week I threw out the schedule. I ran, biked, and swam when I wanted to, and had the best workouts of the summer. I had the best run of my life on Tuesday. After a summer of struggling to get my bum out the door and onto the pavement, I hit the streets at 8pm that night with hill repeats on the brain.  4 miles and 8x240m hill sprints later, I felt refreshed, renewed, and remembered why I love running so much. I am not one of those people that looks forward to the feelings after the run- no, I look forward to the feelings during the run. The feeling of speeding up, slowing down, pushing myself, enjoying the scenery, and getting this much closer to a goal(s). Wanna know what I did when I realized this? I went another .5 miles. And saw jet-blue lightening in the clouds near my house. I stood still watching for a few moments, and when I looked down at my "Baltimore Marathon In-training" shirt, I saw a glimpse of me a few months from now, crossing that finish line with a smile on my face, because I did something for me, that I loved, that I dreamed of, and that I allowed myself to do without obsession, without overtraining, and with a large dose of FUN.
   I am done with all this scheduling. Life happens while we are planning other things, and no way am I missing out on events because I am chained to some piece of paper that tells me "lift Tuesday, rest Friday." This week signified my journey to end my overtraining and my quest to once again love my running shoes, swimsuit, bike shorts, and dumbbells. Really love them. Look forward to dates with them. Dream about them. Part of this thinking came after my Open Water Swim on Saturday- it was a BLAST, and something I had been so afraid of. What if I couldn't finish? What if I was last? What if I got scared of the dark water and had to quit?
     I was able to conquer my fears in that race, and I know I will be able to conquer my other anxieties in life, too. I am done being afraid of getting out of shape, getting fat, getting slow, or not PR'ing. I am never going to be a professional athlete, but I might be coaching them someday, so I might as well enjoy what I do, no?

    So what's on the agenda now that I am on my way to being a less-obsessive SuperWoman? Well...
-Delaware Diamondman in September
-Charm City Run 20 miler in September
-Possibly a trail 13.1 in Charlottesville in September
-Baltimore Marathon in October
-Delaware Distance Race in October
-NCR marathon Relay in November
-Possibly pacing a friend in the JFK 50
- KICKBOXING CLASS AT UDEL
-Club swimming

    I am experimenting with a Crossfit approach of working on intervals and strength more so that I have more power. So I can deck people blow it up on my next 5k.