Self-Confidence Battles, Boredom, and Curry

So yesterday ended up being quite eventful. I did a tough workout in the morning, since Thursday my calves were screaming bloody murder. The workout went well; it was tough, but in a good, know-it-is-making-me-better kind of way. It also had the added benefit of stretching out my calves!...and then an hour later causing them to once again tighten up and leave me doing to penguin walk down the steps for the rest of the day.

    After a gym session involving the beloved Arc Trainer and leg weights, I headed home to whip up some dinner for myself.

I made a delicious rice and egg curried hash with red onions and red peppers, and baked some sweet potatoe and parsnip fries to go along with it. Also included were two pieces of toast with laughing cow cheese, jam, and strawberries on them. If you have never tried this combo before, I HIGHLY suggest it. Your taste buds will thank you.

   I spent the rest of the night reading blogs and watching DC cupcakes, and right before bed, went online to check and see if there was anything posted about University of Delaware decisions, which are due to come out this week. I found out that they posted them last night, so I went to go log in to my account and see what the verdict was. Except oh wait! MY PIN YET AGAIN DOES NOT WORK. I reset it, and got a lovely message telling me the new PIN I made won't set in for 24 hours. My dreams last night were filled to the brim with anxiety over not being able to log in. Not exactly restful...

My dreams mostly consisted of me verbally beating myself up for not remembering my password, followed by everyone else I know finding out if they got in while I was left literally in the dark.

 

Then, this morning, I go to see if the PIN works, but oh hey! Nothing, yet again! I tried calling three different sections of the Admissions Office, but guess what? They aren't open on the weekends! So now my college acceptance/denial is floating out there in cyberworld and I don't know what the verdict is. Add this plus a serious lack of motivation and my 15 miler was pretty much craptastic. One of the upsides? I tried out a gel that actually tasted good- so good in fact that it even resembled the flavor on the package! When does that ever happen?!

    The run was awful partly because my legs were tired from yesterday's workout, but also partly because I literally ran out of road. I got 13.41 miles down and had nowhere left to run. So, I hopped onto the treadmill for the last 1.59, so angry and upset that I didn't even pay attention to what the show on Food Network was that I was watching. It didn't help that when I checked my Garmin, it said my average pace was 9:10. NOT OK. Yeah, I did A TON of hills, but I felt like I could have gone so much faster. You know that light feeling you get in your legs when you know you could have pushed harder? I had that today, and it bugged me so much I almost (almost) parked my car on the way to the gym and went for a reset run around town. I didn't, choosing instead to save up the energy for my 5k tomorrow and get my Arc Trainer on tonight, but I think next time I have that feeling, I am going to go with it.

   I guess that I am mostly frustrated that I am not where I want to be with my fitness. I am an impatient, stubborn person by nature (When I was 5, I wouldn't let my Mom teach me how to tie my shoes because I wanted to learn how to do it myself. Consequently, I now sort of stink at tying my shoes), so not being able to run the 7:30 pace that I want to is a constant thorn in my side. I know I only started running daily a year ago  (actually, a year ago almost exactly!!), and I have increased my pace, stamina, and endurance substantially since then, but I want to be FAST. NOW. I know that the heavy summer training I plan on doing will help, but even that seems forever away..

   So what do I do in the meantime? Stick to the schedule, kick butt during my workouts, run my heart out at every race, and keep on using the recovery socks (literally, those things are a miracle). I know I have the ability to accomplish everything I want, but I guess part of what scares me is not knowing how and when it is all going to happen. How will I train in college? How can I get sponsorship? Can I make it to the Olympic Trails in 2012?

      With all these thoughts, I needed some time with my stove and oven, so I whipped up this delicious feast:

Spinach with Parmesan Cheese, Oven-Baked Veggies, Pita Pizza with Canadian Bacon and Mixed Greens. Just what the PB&J girl needed!!

   After some Degrassi watching (I recently re-discovered this show after a two-year hiatus of not watching it. BOY was I missing something..), blog reading, and mindless lounging, I whipped up a pudding-smoothie:

It was yummy and thick, filled with frozen fruit, protein powder, 2 rice puddings, SF chocolate sauce, and cocoa powder. SO. GOOD. And the piece of SF chocolate with it made it all the better...



So now I am off to watch Wedding Crashers, try not to think about my lingering AP tests, and research some sponsorship and team possibilites.